09 Soulmate

I found my soulmate at a gig, of all places.

He was a face among the crowd, but somehow he stood out. He was different. Unique. He wasn't like the others. He was talented yet reserved. He was good without even trying.

A silly bump led me to cross paths with him. God has the most intriguing way to lead me to my fate.

I was smitten. And for some weird twisted reason, he was too.

He found a soulmate in me, of all people.

Casual conversations felt like playing hide and seek. But somehow I told myself what could ever go wrong. I would not fall in love. I had no time for heartache.

But being around him made me feel a sense of euphoria I had never felt before. In an altered state of mind, I would gaze into his brown eyes as he talks about how Jimi died of his own vomit. In a whirlwind daze from the clouds, I would stare into space, watching how the plants move. My head was in the clouds, as I told myself not to fall in love as I had no time for heartache. I was scared of getting hurt.

But he didn't hurt me. He never was able to hurt me. He treated me in a way he had treated no one else before. He didn't know he was capable of being so perfect in someone's eyes. But he was.

He chose me, of all girls.

He would make me mixtapes, and keep me company all through the night. And I would listen to them over and over. I would close my eyes in the dark, listening to bowie and feeling like I had no other care in the world except for the songs and how they made me feel. I would close my eyes and feel infinite. Like the whole universe was in my eyes.

We had no care in the world. Our youth spent killing ourselves with booze and cigarettes and good music. Roaming in the night, stargazing and marvelling at the black sky peppered with sparkles. Having no care in the world. No responsibilities, no commitments. It was just us, having each other. We were rebellious but we knew how to take care of ourselves. And for that, it was the best time of our lives.

It was crazy how infatuated I was. His chiseled jawline, his sharp nose from the side. I would just sit quietly and listen as he goes on and on about everything he had in his mind. I would just listen and be captivated. It felt as if nothing in this world could pull me away from him. And when he was sick, I brought him to a doctor and did all I can to make him better.

Then, we had a bit of school and work here and there. Things got harder because we had less time with each other. I remembered when he hurt his hand, and my fleeting mind thought to make him feel better but it didn't work. It was something so insignificant but it was the first time my heart broke. And I didn't know my heart could hurt that much. I ran away to cry.

Little by little, my heart shattered. Hard. The intensity of my euphoria matched the intensity of my grief. But love gave me that strength to pick myself up again and mend the pieces. I couldn't let go.

We went deeper and deeper. Exposing all our vulnerabilities, every single bit of it. Too deep to ever come back out as a whole. Happiness and pain. Sadness and joy. Milestone after milestone, year after year. We held on.

Somewhere along the way, we got tied by the ankles with heavy shackles. Our youth was gone and responsibilities have caught up with us. Living the mundane life as all we had to think about was work and money and a way to sustain ourselves. That childish flame in us still lives on, but it is eclipsed by the very thing we thought would never get the better of us. We all change over time. We have no choice. And adapting to change is normal. But is reminiscing about what once was normal too? Because aI am proud of who you are and who you have become.

But I will always miss our adventures. Walking in the rain, our tiny camp, our marshmallows at the skate park. Listening to the waves crash on a lazy afternoon. I miss drinking avocado with chocolate, I miss the way you care for me when I was always sick and pale. I miss the food you would cook. I miss the nights I would smoke with you at the park, when we would braid each other's hair and watch movies I've never heard of. I miss making each other mixtapes and drawing on the covers. I miss wearing your flannel during cold nights. I miss discovering new bands and walking around aimlessly. I miss discovering you and our picnics at the hill. I miss the smell of your tshirt and seeing you in the grey pants you always wear. I miss the way you would smile and laugh nervously. I miss waking up in the morning and having breakfast with you. I miss lying on your lap while you draw paisleys and frogs. I miss the way you don't give a fuck about the world. I miss our deep conversations about society, drugs and life. I miss you.

I miss you a lot. Because without you, it feels like I have nothing.

08 The A-Z of driving at BBDC - How I got my license at the very first try (part 2)

Here is part 1 of this 2 part post about how I obtained my driver's license. 

So now that you are ready for practical lessons, I would suggest for you to read your practical book before starting your engine. (The light blue book) It will give you a guide as to what you will be learning from stage 1 to 5. 

1. Deciding upon fixed group or non fixed group

I would actually recommend putting in a little bit more money in order to get a fixed group. It is entirely up to you. But before you fix a group, try out a few lessons in a non-fixed group setting. This will give you the opportunity to try out different instructors to determine which one suits you best, or which one clicks with you the most (Think of it like a date. Open yourself to multiple dates and pick the one you'd choose as your partner! haha!)

non-fixed group: If you are cool with meeting new instructors and learning from different perspectives every time, then you would probably be cool with not fixing a group. You don't have to waste extra dollars.

fixed-group: If you are easily confused and do not like the fact that one person says this while another says that, you should fix a group. This will enable you to fix an instructor. Kind of like private instructor but you have the option to pick someone else in the group at any moment of time you'd like. 

I personally did a hybrid. Sometimes, I would fix an instructor who gave me a lot of freedom to make mistakes and be independent. Other times I would just leave it up to who is available during the time that i am available. Other times, I would fix with someone who would give me specific tips on certain techniques. I find that it works best for me, even though I spend more.

2. Getting your PDL

Getting your PDL is quite time consuming but easy. Head to level 2 of the centre, get to the machine next to the theory test classroom, and select PDL. They'll give you a queue number. Once your number is called, they will do an eye test at the counter itself. It's just a colour test and to see the direction of the Es in different sizes. Get ready your $25 bucks for this purchase via NETS (credit card is also accepted I think. No cash though).

Similar as how you booked your theory lessons, book your practical lessons under the practical training tab. Make sure you are able to have enough money to BLOCK BOOK your lessons (book at least 25 lessons at one time, if possible. If not, maybe 10-15 lessons) to ensure that you are able to secure the slots you want. It gets really difficult to book because there are so many people taking diving license nowadays!

Stage 1

- One stage is not one subject! (I was naive to think that it was okay. haha) It will be broken up into 11 mini subjects. Thus, for each lesson slot, the instructor will try to cover about 1 or 2 subjects with you. If you're super fast, he might even cover 3. (so about 5 lessons in total) Basically, you drive around the circuit in circles and get familiar with left and right turns. The positioning of your foot and the way your turn your steering wheel are important at this point.

*What to do on your first lesson:

-Make sure you arrive a few minutes before the actual lesson (rushing before your lesson might stress you out, making you unable to focus)

-Don't forget to bring your IC, once you reach the centre, you need to scan your IC at the red kiosk machine which is right next to the entrance. A slip of paper will be ejected. It will tell you your car number and the area that car would be. (Area A and B are on the left while C - F are on the right). There are seats available for your to wait. You can also just chill at the canteen till the bell rings I guess. 

- Don't stand at the car like a doodoo before the bell rings because you will probably be the only person doing it. Yes, there will be a bell. once you hear it, walk towards your car and wait for your instructor to arrive. 

Stage 2

- A total of 11 subjects + 1 Driving simulator (DS) lesson. (7-8 lessons in total) 

Stage 2 means you finally get to go out on the road! They'll start you off with left turns first to build up your confidence. Then you'll get to try out right turns. If you drive at night, remember to turn on your headlights and not to put them to high beam! (twist the knob on the right side of the stick thingy to on the headlights and pull it towards you to ensure high beam is not on). During this stage, ask as many questions and you can and get the instructor to tell you what you should improve on. (Actually you should kind of know by judging for yourself. For me, lane changing was my weakness as I was really not confident of it). You can also ask your instructor to help you brush up on your weak points if there is time. 

You will know by stage 2.10 (or somewhere there) that you will be able to book for the DS lesson. The DS lesson is actually really fun, kind of like a video game you play at the arcade. Make full use of that one lesson because that will be the only time you are able to speed up super fast and crash into things without killing yourself!

Stage 3

- Another 11 subjects (about 5 lessons in total). You will be back in the circuit, learning specific techniques for things like parking, 3 point turns, emergency brakes, and driving in S course/crank course. You may head out to the road at times if you have time but mostly, the lessons in stage 3 focuses mainly on circuit stuff that will get you prepared for the TP test.

Stage 4

- Stage 4 (4 lessons in total ) is basically revision lessons that combine all that you know from stages 1-3. You will be in the circuit and on the roads, practicing on everything. This is also when you will be introduced to all the 10 test routes of the TP test. The drill goes likes this: Do every circuit course at least once (parallel park, vertical park, s course, crank course, e brake, directional change, slope, ramp) and then do 2 test routes. 

Stage 5

- This is the moment of truth. The moment when you'll know if you are okay enough to even go for the TP test. You'll do the same drill as stage 4 lessons, followed by 2 final test routes. Your instructor will assess and determine how many demerit points you get. Take this as a note to self for your TP test. You are ready!

Booking your TP test

Put in the effort to find the right time slot for the test. Off-peak hours are the best. Between 12-4 I suppose? Mine was at 2 on a Friday, the traffic was not that bad (although I thought it would be due to the fact that it was right before Chinese new year and that it was Friday prayers). Ask your instructor what time would be best. 

During your test

BREATHE!!! Pray as much as you can!

Once you get to the centre, scan your IC at the red kiosk as usual. Then, chill outside this room next to the registration counters (that is where video screenings will be shown to those who have already passed the test). Some people will be there to ask if you are taking the TP test and assist you. They'll take your PDL and IC. You can then proceed to your car which was stated on the slip. This is where you'll start to do your warm up. 

During your warm up, do as best as you can and learn from whatever last minute advice the instructor told you. I failed straight away during my warm up as I did not lane change before turning left. Stupid mistake, but you will totally fumble due to your nervousness. Thank goodness it was just a warm up. But make sure you remember those flaws!

After warm up, you will be brought to level 2, at a room on the left corner. This is the waiting area. You chill there for a few minutes until your fated tester calls your name! Thereafter, brace yourself and do your best. 

I got test route 10. I was really lucky because the route was similar to my warm up route, if not it was exactly the same. Do your circuit courses (remember your stage 4-5 stuff!) and complete the route. When you drive back into the circuit, remember that the test is only over AFTER you off the engine. Make sure you check your blind spots and stay within lane when you park your car back at the test area. 

Once done, head back to level 2, where you will be asked to sit at the front of the room which has tiny desks and chairs filled with test takers and their nervous faces. Sit at one of the tables to wait for your debrief session with your tester. He will point out all your mistakes and tell you to improve. If you fail or pass, do remember the things he pointed out as they are really helpful in terms of safety. 

If you pass, hurrah! Head down to level 1, back to that room where you first started this morning and watch the scary gore videos. 

Thereafter, take your passport sized photos and head back up to level 2 to apply for your ACTUAL DRIVER'S LICENSE!

*Don't forget the passport photos, or else you would be wasting time having to wait for your turn only to find out you don't have the complete materials. 

Expenditure

My total expenditure was about $2,400 (I burned a number of lessons because I was sick or had other last minute issues). Nevertheless, considering the fact that I used my own money to fund for everything, I am pretty proud of myself!

breakdown (estimated):

enrolment fee: $97

Theory lesson:$17

Theory practice: $3

Driving simulator: $14

Theory test: $7

practical: each lesson ranges from $69 - $80, depending on time, and whether it is fixed grp/instructor or not.

TP test: $236

08 The A-Z of driving at BBDC - How I got my license at the very first try (part 1)

Hello and welcome!

It has been way too long since I posted anything on the blog. Thus, thought I should revive it with a little post about my humble achievement recently. Actually, a lot of things have happened during the course of the past few years but maybe I'll save that for another blog post. 

Today, i want to focus on the topic of getting a license. I realised that there has not been that many posts or forums out there specifically giving people a heads up on every single detail about what to do. Most are just personal experiences and emotions. I want to share my own personal experience too but also keep things as informative as possible in the hopes of helping anyone out there who is totally lost and clueless from the very beginning as I once was. I'll try to remember as much as i can. 

1. Choosing between a Private or School course

The first thing you need to do is to figure out which mode you are most comfortable with. If you have any connections with private instructors who is known to give great driving lessons, then by all means go for it. I heard they are cheaper anyway. However, I chose school because:

- I did not know (or rather, did not bother to find) anyone who could give private lessons

- BBDC was really convenient from my house. 187 directly gets me to the school from my house's bus stop. There are other busses too, namely: 188, 945, 985. There is also a free shuttle bus service from Bukit Gombak MRT station. I have never taken the shuttle bus before, but that huge bus seriously stops right smack at the circuit inside BBDC.

- The school provides a really structured format of learning. You have to take 2 basic theory, 2 final theory lessons, and some practice and evaluation lessons before the BTT and FTT. For practical, you have to book at least 24 lessons (each of them teaching you something specific) before you get evaluated to see if you are okay enough for the TP test. You will know where you are and what you should do during the next lesson.

It's your own preference i suppose. I prefer the structured approach.

2. Enrol yourself

method a) 

Online pre enrolment: You can easily go to the website and pre-enrol yourself online using the form. Fill up your particulars as instructed and make a deposit via your credit card. Thereafter, I think you should print out the form after you have completed everything and head your way to the centre to confirm your enrolment. 

PROS of method a)

- You can fill up the form at any time you want, at your own pace. This is convenient if you happen to not be available during the information counter's opening hours.

- You can pay via credit card and not have to trouble yourself with fumbling with your money on the day itself.

- Your enrolment process at the centre will be relatively quicker. They will just check your particulars and give you the bag full of books and stuff. 

CONS of method a)

- You still need to go down to the centre anyway.

- You might wrongly fill in your particulars online if you don't have another pair of eyes to check them for you (which you can rectify when you physically go to the centre) 

- Might not be ideal if you don't have a credit card in the first place

method b) 

Just go down to the centre, head to the information counter and tell the counter lady that you would like to enrol for driving course. They will ask if you want private or school (thus, the first step should be considered). Thereafter, she will give you a queue number and you will fill up the form while waiting for your queue number to be called. You will then go to the respective booth when your queue number is called. The friendly staff will assist you and go through the entire course structure with you. 

PROS of method b)

- It's just a one-step process from start to finish when you head to the centre directly. The staff are really friendly and helpful.

CONS of method b) 

- It might not be the ideal time for you to go there as it might clash with your own working hours. Thus, best to go on a weekends. but..

- the waiting time might be long. 

After you have been officially enrolled, you will walk out of that centre with a cute paper bag filled with all the reading materials for your theory and practical lessons. Hooray! The staff would have equipped you with the BBDC member login (your IC and password). With that, you can start booking your theory lessons via the online portal. 

3. Theory Lessons and Practices

a) Theory lessons: 

My advice would be to just book all the theory lessons in one sitting, just so that you can get it done and over with. Each lesson is 1hr 40 mins (a lot of times, it would end pretty fast) so if you have about 3 hours 20 minutes to spare each day, you will be done with your theory lessons in 2 days. Remember to bring your IC during every lesson because they will need to scan your IC to ensure that you have attended. 

Do pay attention during the theory lessons though because sometimes the instructors will give you "exam questions" or tips that you should look out for. They would even ask you to take out your book and bookmark or highlight a certain page which will usually come out during the tests. Do note them. 

b) Theory practice: 

After your lessons, book a couple of theory practice lessons before you go book your theory evaluations. These are just a bunch of multiple choice questions. You have to sit in a class which has a bunch of monitors on the desks (classroom 7 if I am not wrong?), log in and tap on the screen to choose the right answer. I usually try to sit at the back of the class because then, no one would see me make stupid mistakes. Either the screen is big, or i am very self conscious. Haha. If I remember correctly, go up to level 2 and turn right to classroom 7. You'll see a bunch of people chilling with their theory books, waiting for the prior slot to be over so they can enter and start doing their practice. 

Best would be to book 2 practice lessons when you are free and one more practice slot RIGHT BEFORE your evaluation. That would keep your memory super fresh for you to pass your evaluation in order to be eligible to book for BTT/FTT. During your practice lessons, answer as many questions as you can (they have about 10 booklets full of questions if I remember). Try to learn from the mistakes and remember the right answers. It doesn't matter if you fail the practice because what matters are the evaluations and tests. So try to remember what were the correct answers (they are usually kinda easy and repeated so no worries!)

c) Theory tests: 

As with the evaluations, try to book some practice slots and one slot RIGHT BEFORE the test. I didn't manage to do that though, because my test timing was right after work. Nevertheless, I thankfully managed to pass pretty well so yeah, the practice lessons (even after you pass evaluation) really helps. 

*MILESTONE* 

You passed your theory! Now on to the real deal. Practical lessons!

Unfortunately, this post seems a little long now. I will leave the practical portion to part 2. Stay tuned~